TRINKET #10

Gap Baby, $34.95, I couldn't resist. 

Literal Trinket #10

When I was very young, I remember refusing to close my eyes until I somehow fell asleep. I was that scared of ghosts and goblins-especially the boogy man. Many nights I would feign ear aches just so that I could stay up and watch TV with my parents. I always had ear infections in the summers so my parents never questioned my motives. I would sit watching the screen blankly while tugging on my ear, all just to avoid sleep. 

That back fired one day when my parents decided to take action and make an appointment for me regarding this "ear ache." As soon as I learned that I was to be taken to the doctor, I hid behind my queen sized bed while my father yelled trying to find me. I can't tell you what actually happened  at the doctor or whether we even made it to the doctor. There's a chance I could have confessed to faking ear aches. I do however remember not getting into any trouble. 

One morning I woke up to a perfect sliver across my chest on my sheets. I was convinced a snake had slithered across me during the night. There was also another time, when I must have been a toddler, sleeping in the crib in my playroom. I swore one night that I watched a circus elephant prance across the hallway past my door. Needless to say, the bathroom light was my best friend in the night.

These events were the start of what of what I would characterize as my anxiety. The anxious "what if" of what could happen in the dark. Now the "what ifs" have simply moved into every corner they can find and I've got to find my bathroom lights to control them. 

Literal Trinket #9

Am I Dating some sort of Christian Gray?

That's what this man has my mom and friends asking. 2 personal assistants-1 for each city. Two condos-1 for each city. Lots of town car usage. Outrageous tips. Spends a great deal of time on an airplane for business. Designer jeans. Ordering Stella Artois chilled on ice to be waiting for him when he arrives to his hotel. What is going on here?

I'm not really sure. He's constantly busy and some of our meet ups have been cancelled or delayed by business matters. Is there a way to work me in or not? Is he serious about having me as a potential wing woman or is this just his fun that he slips in. Does he go from one fling to another? Does he want children? Does he ever think he will slow down his work load? I don't know the answer to any of these. All I know is that I am having fun, and no one has made me feel like such a rare gem.

Updates to follow.

TRINKET # 8

 My treat to myself:Initial Reaction, 1 1/4" Acrylic Script Cutout Monogram Necklace, $62.

TRINKET #7

Jump-Around Jumpsuit in Chambray, Kate Spade Saturday collection, $140

Literal Trinket #8

Tonight, just what I needed happened. The movie He's Just Not That Into You was on TV. I think every single girl should watch it once a month-just as a reminder.We all know deep down whether someone is really into us or not, the rest of what we do is false hoping. So if we could just stop ourselves right there-at that false hoping thought stream-we wouldn't get so wrapped up in what we think is such a mystery. These rules provided by the book and movie are all very realistic guidelines, but what really needs to happen is for us to just listen to the voice in the very back of our head. I mean we can't know exactly what the other person is thinking, but we have a gut feeling that comes up after the date. We feel restless about it- he hasn't called but the date wasn't bad. Well, it was probably just ok for him too and he has moved on. Otherwise he would have given you a little text because you were on his mind. If you already left his mind, he's not going to reach out.

 It isn't wrong or right. Guys are just more practical. Most girls are either a straight yes or no to them post date 1 or 2. There's no "iffy" prospects left like with us girls. And that's why we need to do the same. Don't date someone that you think would make good company for a while just because you're lonely. If you didn't feel something in your gut that says, "I can't let this one go. There's something about him." Don't reach out again just because you're bored. Yes, you will still be bored, but take that time to invest in yourself. When you least expect it, the right guy, the right situation, the right timing will come into your life so fast you won't even have time to worry or feel restless at all. You'll just be, and it will be wonderful.

And oh, that scene with Scarlet Johansson and Bradley Cooper, where they discuss the possibility of being friends. I think it gave me my answer regarding B O'B. as discussed in Literal Trinket #6.

Literal Trinket #7

Why is it that I finally feel the confidence to tell the ex-boyfriend that I am ok to be at the same get- togethers, but right after I type it I start to cry? That doesn't seem right. I hope the sudden outpouring of tears is my way of healing from the break-up. But I think the tears are coming from the good memories that I no longer get to live. And that could take more time to accept as past. That's what I want more than anything-the ability to live in the moment. I'm constantly thinking ahead or behind.  When you do that, what is the point of living your life? All the good stuff is in the present. Someone also once told me, "If you don't expect things, you won't be disappointed." That sounds really simple, but it's so hard to do. I am constantly expecting things from situations. I am constantly "what-ifing" the future when I should be putting all my energy into the present. Deal with what's happening now. Make good decisions concerning the now. The future is the future for a reason. There are also many things I can't control. I can't control what people will do. I can only control myself and build my life. And I think that calls for a Namaste.

Literal Trinket #6

So I go on two dates with this Mr. O'Bryan, 37 year old, white American male, medical supplies salesman. He dives right in and makes out with me in the middle of Mass Ave after our first date and then after our second date as well. These dates only involving some drinks at an establishment. I mean I understand a kiss, but full on making-out? So I actually think at the time, circa one month ago that I dig this dude. Then he starts playing the game were he skips a couple days before contacting me again. 37 and still playing games. Spare me. Then he seems to have fallen off the radar for good. This past Friday (2-3 weeks after last contact), I am having a beer at the Rathskellar with a friend and who strolls into the Beer Garden but Mr. O'Bryan. I have no shame so I start staring at him with a smirk as he walks by. He just looks at me strangely when I do catch his eye. Ok. Continue being a tool, Mr. O'Bryan. Then he texts me to say he's sorry he didn't say hello, he didn't recognize me at first. I continue to text him because I think he is just with a group of friends. He refuses to come say hello and then texts, "this is weird." I then get the hint that he is on a date with one of the girls. Honestly, one had a puffy face and the other had bad curly blonde hair. I probably should have gone over and saved him. I then proceed to let him know that I will stop bothering him and I go about my business. This was last Friday.

On Tuesday, I get a text from his number, which I have once again deleted from my phone. If I want to inhibit myself from texting someone I delete their number. But I know it's him because I remembered that his number started with a 3 post area code. He texts, "you weren't." This I guess being in response to my text from Friday notifying him that I will stop bothering him. Why did you need to send me that text? Especially four days later. Fishy.

I then get a text from him this morning asking, "How are the animals at work?" Now you want to continue our conversation? I'm so confused. So after some small banter, I ask him why he decided to start contacting me again? He  somehow dodges the question twice. After several hours of banter, I do what I like to call lay down the law. I was like, "Listen: You still haven't answered my question. Rude. Are you just texting me now because you are bored or because there is something still sparking your interest?"

He basically attempts to compliment me by saying, "You've got a legitimate question there. Oh really, because I usually like to ask pointless questions!!! Dumby. Basically he replies saying that he doesn't know why he's continued to text me after seeing me at Rathskellar, but could we just be friends? Still Fishy.

This seems to be a reoccurring situation in the dating world for me. Guys fall off the face of the earth and then they reappear but with no complete closure. Where can I find one that doesn't play this game of hide and seek?

TRINKET #6

 

Tamara Swimsuit by Herve Leger, $740, ok so it's expensive but I loves it.

Literal Trinket #5

Online Date Encounter

2-27-13

40 year old Irish man. I thought I would be meeting someone who would cherish a younger women who was willing to give an older guy a chance. Lately, my biggest pet peeve on a date is when the the other person acts like my job is dumb or insignificant. This man did exactly that. If you claim you are spiritual and you are a massage therapist I think you would take a moment to at least ask questions where you do not understand the job. But no, this old bastard just dismissed it as a silly thing. Why would you want to hang out with rats and mice. Thanks! I mean at least the charming medical salesman took interest in my job. He also told me that he got a divorce because he was a glass half full type person and his wife was a glass half empty person. I can kind of see his wife’s side. This guy probably thought everything he did was wonderful and would work out and everything he thought would be right. I would be a little negative towards someone like this as well. So Mr. Irishman, as sexy as your accent is, I will be passing. 

TRINKET #5

Tory Burch, Lucite Letters! I got metal and cloth but I do not have LUCITE!!!! $95

Literal Trinket #4

Today I am thankful for the cats growling at each other behind me. Peaches and Penny. My parents, for coming up to hang my framed photos. Yoga for giving me moments of clarity. My little TV that’s just my size. The opportunity to go on a journey by myself. The strength from previous experiences. The opportunity to continue to grow. The ability to live on my own. The ability to support myself. The knowledge I will gain on this journey.  The availability that Pinterest brings. The little voice in the back of my head.