literally and figuratively

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Literal Trinket #3


Where do you get the strength to pick yourself up from a break-up? I feel like I was just dropped off in the middle of nowhere and I don’t remember my name or where to go. My life came to a screeching halt in a matter of seconds. Now I sit 180 degrees backwards in some sort of limbo.

 Maybe it’s just too soon to do anything but feel. But it just feels so horrible. I feel hollow inside. I automatically begin thinking I’m unlovable. I no longer have a large bond and impact on one person. I am just me-party of one. It doesn’t matter that others love me. Why do my feelings regarding my self worth change just because I am a single person.  Nobody died. There are still people there that have always been there for me. And yet, I just feel like curling up in the fetal position and hoping the feelings go away. I also randomly ask myself, “Is this real life?” My life has lost some of its purpose. What do I do to make my purpose whole again? What do I do to feel content. Not happy. Just straight contentment. I mean can I get a yoga retreat to fall from the sky? Can I talk to Buddha or just  be hyperfocused on something random? Nope. Patience, as usual, seems to be the key. Right when you feel you are going to explode with sadness, a little something happens to move you a little closer to contentment, purpose, zen. 

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